A Single Moment of Sincerity

I've decided to make a list of my weaknesses just for the heck of it, you wouldn't believe the addiction I have to sugar, and no matter how hardcore an anorexic is, we all slip up here and then so let's not lie to ourselves. Please don't ever use this as an excuse to eat though.
Here is my horribly large list of addictions I now steer clear of...

Tacos, Muffins, Cookies, Starbucks, Brownies, Frappuccinos, Juice, Gummy worms & Bears, Skittles, Pop, Subway...

I'm actually teased for being obsessed with the above listed. Fast long enough though and you completely lose the desire to eat along with all cravings and hunger pains, this is the best place to be, and as often as possible. That's the downfall of restricting instead of fasting, your stomach screams for food if you just give it a little here and there so your bound to fail.

Anyways, keep at it and let me know how those fasts go!

-Alex

Apology

Just got out of a long hot shower, and the steam plus fatigue from not eating didn't work out so well. I completely blacked out and my legs just gave up, leaving me crumpled on the bathroom floor. I actually like when this happens though it makes me feel like I'm doing something right for once. I also got my period though, which to me is a sign of failure. If I'm not getting it means my body isn't getting enough calories. I haven't had it in a long time though so as long as I behave from now on I'm okay. This five day fast is going to be really hard with friends and all. They always notice cause they know me better than I'd like them too *sigh* but if you girls can do it so can I right?

I cut myself again, which I haven't done in a long time. I made sure to cut only my legs so I can hide them under my skinny jeans, I don't want to start peoples worrying about me. My wrists and arms are covered in old scars but I only let my besties see them, otherwise I hide them with sleaves.

I'm all out of juice so I've been surviving only on water, which I need to do WAY more often. There's no point in liquid fasts if I'm going to guzzle down enough calories for an elephant anyway.

I'll keep posted, stay strong!

-Alex

Cute Without The E

Sorry this is a really quick update but I've been really busy lately. This past week has been really hard. I've been eating lightly because I'm sick and still haven't gained. My depressions been really bad lately and I've been throwing up when I'm stressed. I'm on the first day of a five day liquid fast, when it ends I'm gonna eat for one day, then plan to do another eight day liquid fast. I feel horible and fat and gross but I'm finally getting back on track so ill be back to my old self soon.

(KKK)
I don't use laxatives very often cause I prefer not to eat but when I do I use exlax. Never use laxatives when your eating regular meals, for them to work you need to fast a decent period and use only when you binge, never more than once a day. If you try to take laxatives when your eating normal it will just leave you bloated. Let me know if this helps at all.

I'll keep posted,
Alex

Chelsea Smile

I've gotton rather ill, and was too tired and sick to fast cause it was making me pass out repeatedly so I've been eating like mad all day to get it out've my system so I can fast tomorrow from then on. Never try this at home your'll start using it every day and binging so bad before fasts you won't lose weight! I'm just being a weak sod right now and its pitiful.

Stay strong my Ana's and please do better than I'm doing right now!

P.S. To kkk, all anas get haters its the way it works, people get all self righteous and start trying to convince anas what their doing is wrong cause they know so much (NOT!) The only way to be anorexic and not get haters is to be a perfect runway model.

Mad World

To everyone who thinks I'm a fake. I went over a year without my period, got it for a short time, and now its been almost a year since I've had it again. This is what happens if your really Anorexic and not just joining the latest fad for attention. I've gotten so thin I've wieghed under ninetly pounds, I'm not a biginner and I was doing this long before it became the new thing I know what I'm talking about! I've also purged so excessivly my skin was compleetley dried out and peeling, another side effect in serious cases. I've also fainted in public on several occasions due to lack of food, not just dizzy spells and grey outs minor cases of hunger cause. If you haven't experienced any of this yourself your just doing this for the thrill. This is real people, and its not a game people die trying to get thin enough so if your doing this cause all your friends are I suggest you find a blog of someone who's a fake cause I'm not joking around!

Don't Call Me Peanut

Just did the Saltwater Flush and feel amazing!

Sometimes fasting is really hard on your hair and skin leaving it looking dry and unhealthy every time this happens I fast completley except a glass of Ovaltine for breakfast each morning. Its only 80 cals per cup and is loaded with vitamins that get you looking flawless and beautiful but make sure to drink it in the lowest cal milk possible. NEVER drink any other chocolate milk or hot cocoa though unless its for weight loss!

My friends worried about me again because I don't get my period from not eating. He's afraid I'm pregnant again and he's so worried that I'm scared shitless now too even though I didn't do anything with anyone so couldn't possibly be. He keeps such close tabs on me cause he cares so much about me I'm trying but jeez I can't hide anything from him.

I took a bunch of pills and am listening to music trying to calm myself down but its hard.
Please keep up the support Ana's I need it really badly again,

Alex

Curse Of Curves

By some miracle I didn't gain anything this week even though I was taking in tons of cals. I'm haven't been losing anything but atleast I haven't been gaining either. Not anywhere close to my goal weight its still twenty pounds away. I've been really tired from fasting again so I have to try and figure out a way to get more energy and less cals, but not energy drinks those just make you crash after a couple hours.

Manic depression is really severe depression that constantly manipulates the way you think and gives you episodes of depression that can lead to hospitalization. You can get medication that helps but I don't want to so I'm just gonna live with it. (And oh yeah, an interesting fact is a side effect of manic depression is loss of appetite and weightloss, sound familiar at all?)

Keep up the fasts!