A Single Moment of Sincerity

I've decided to make a list of my weaknesses just for the heck of it, you wouldn't believe the addiction I have to sugar, and no matter how hardcore an anorexic is, we all slip up here and then so let's not lie to ourselves. Please don't ever use this as an excuse to eat though.
Here is my horribly large list of addictions I now steer clear of...

Tacos, Muffins, Cookies, Starbucks, Brownies, Frappuccinos, Juice, Gummy worms & Bears, Skittles, Pop, Subway...

I'm actually teased for being obsessed with the above listed. Fast long enough though and you completely lose the desire to eat along with all cravings and hunger pains, this is the best place to be, and as often as possible. That's the downfall of restricting instead of fasting, your stomach screams for food if you just give it a little here and there so your bound to fail.

Anyways, keep at it and let me know how those fasts go!

-Alex

Apology

Just got out of a long hot shower, and the steam plus fatigue from not eating didn't work out so well. I completely blacked out and my legs just gave up, leaving me crumpled on the bathroom floor. I actually like when this happens though it makes me feel like I'm doing something right for once. I also got my period though, which to me is a sign of failure. If I'm not getting it means my body isn't getting enough calories. I haven't had it in a long time though so as long as I behave from now on I'm okay. This five day fast is going to be really hard with friends and all. They always notice cause they know me better than I'd like them too *sigh* but if you girls can do it so can I right?

I cut myself again, which I haven't done in a long time. I made sure to cut only my legs so I can hide them under my skinny jeans, I don't want to start peoples worrying about me. My wrists and arms are covered in old scars but I only let my besties see them, otherwise I hide them with sleaves.

I'm all out of juice so I've been surviving only on water, which I need to do WAY more often. There's no point in liquid fasts if I'm going to guzzle down enough calories for an elephant anyway.

I'll keep posted, stay strong!

-Alex

Cute Without The E

Sorry this is a really quick update but I've been really busy lately. This past week has been really hard. I've been eating lightly because I'm sick and still haven't gained. My depressions been really bad lately and I've been throwing up when I'm stressed. I'm on the first day of a five day liquid fast, when it ends I'm gonna eat for one day, then plan to do another eight day liquid fast. I feel horible and fat and gross but I'm finally getting back on track so ill be back to my old self soon.

(KKK)
I don't use laxatives very often cause I prefer not to eat but when I do I use exlax. Never use laxatives when your eating regular meals, for them to work you need to fast a decent period and use only when you binge, never more than once a day. If you try to take laxatives when your eating normal it will just leave you bloated. Let me know if this helps at all.

I'll keep posted,
Alex

Chelsea Smile

I've gotton rather ill, and was too tired and sick to fast cause it was making me pass out repeatedly so I've been eating like mad all day to get it out've my system so I can fast tomorrow from then on. Never try this at home your'll start using it every day and binging so bad before fasts you won't lose weight! I'm just being a weak sod right now and its pitiful.

Stay strong my Ana's and please do better than I'm doing right now!

P.S. To kkk, all anas get haters its the way it works, people get all self righteous and start trying to convince anas what their doing is wrong cause they know so much (NOT!) The only way to be anorexic and not get haters is to be a perfect runway model.

Mad World

To everyone who thinks I'm a fake. I went over a year without my period, got it for a short time, and now its been almost a year since I've had it again. This is what happens if your really Anorexic and not just joining the latest fad for attention. I've gotten so thin I've wieghed under ninetly pounds, I'm not a biginner and I was doing this long before it became the new thing I know what I'm talking about! I've also purged so excessivly my skin was compleetley dried out and peeling, another side effect in serious cases. I've also fainted in public on several occasions due to lack of food, not just dizzy spells and grey outs minor cases of hunger cause. If you haven't experienced any of this yourself your just doing this for the thrill. This is real people, and its not a game people die trying to get thin enough so if your doing this cause all your friends are I suggest you find a blog of someone who's a fake cause I'm not joking around!

Don't Call Me Peanut

Just did the Saltwater Flush and feel amazing!

Sometimes fasting is really hard on your hair and skin leaving it looking dry and unhealthy every time this happens I fast completley except a glass of Ovaltine for breakfast each morning. Its only 80 cals per cup and is loaded with vitamins that get you looking flawless and beautiful but make sure to drink it in the lowest cal milk possible. NEVER drink any other chocolate milk or hot cocoa though unless its for weight loss!

My friends worried about me again because I don't get my period from not eating. He's afraid I'm pregnant again and he's so worried that I'm scared shitless now too even though I didn't do anything with anyone so couldn't possibly be. He keeps such close tabs on me cause he cares so much about me I'm trying but jeez I can't hide anything from him.

I took a bunch of pills and am listening to music trying to calm myself down but its hard.
Please keep up the support Ana's I need it really badly again,

Alex

Curse Of Curves

By some miracle I didn't gain anything this week even though I was taking in tons of cals. I'm haven't been losing anything but atleast I haven't been gaining either. Not anywhere close to my goal weight its still twenty pounds away. I've been really tired from fasting again so I have to try and figure out a way to get more energy and less cals, but not energy drinks those just make you crash after a couple hours.

Manic depression is really severe depression that constantly manipulates the way you think and gives you episodes of depression that can lead to hospitalization. You can get medication that helps but I don't want to so I'm just gonna live with it. (And oh yeah, an interesting fact is a side effect of manic depression is loss of appetite and weightloss, sound familiar at all?)

Keep up the fasts!

Woe

I've missed this blog so much I would've written more but I was afraid my friend would discover this and make me get rid of it (scary thought I'd die without this!!!) I was diagnosed with manic depression, which explains a Lot. My friend asked me to start trying to eat two meals a day. I've been finding all the loopholes and excuses to not eat I can but I feel so incredibly fat right now. I was doing really good now I've been eating either a poptart, or a hotdog each day and both are loaded with calories. I feel compleetly obeese. He's leaving tomorrow though so the first thing I'm doing when he leaves is a flush then a really strict fast. No food or juice just water. I look disgusting now. Atleast I just got the runs without laxatives so a little less fat soakes into my disgusting body. So afraid to weigh myself now...

(Katty Kat Kloud)
Thanks so much for the support, believe me I really need it right now. If your eating only once a day I suggest you chose fruit with as much water content as possible, watermellon Is the best coice. A little food will leave your tummy begging for more but watermellon leaves you feeling empty and hydrated, making avoiding a binge so much easier. Keep me posted on your weight loss journey! You guys are me best thinspo ever!

Little Girls

I'm so exited! I really do love my friend more than anyone else. The first thing he did when he came over was start talking about buying food cause there's never any at my house. The way he works he never makes me eat I said I'd pass on pizza and he was fine, but after a while of watching me starve he'll ask me to eat something because he's worried about me and cares about me. He never forces me though its awesome. I get to go another whole day without food! I didn't lose as much weight as I wanted to cause I stopped limiting myself on how much juice I drink but atleast I didn't eat anything.
I found a new cranberry juice that's my new favorite, cranberry black cherry (130 cals)

If you start drinking cranberry juice which I highly recomend cause it keeps all the liquids your taking in from making you bloat, you need to know what kind to get.
There's two kinds, one is plain cranberry juice cocktail. Do NOT drink this it has added sugar and way too many cals. The second is cranberry juice mixed with another flavor. Its best if you pick one with lower cals but picks whatever tastes the best to you. Also, ALWAYS mix with Lots of ice so you think your drinking more juice than you really are. The more water and less juice the better.

I have a feeling ill probably end up eating tomorrow but ill get away with as little food as posible.

Backbone

Fourth day of no food and I'm losing weight way faster than I thought I would. My butt is pleasantly concaved and my spine and ribs show way more on my back. My stomachs finally concaving too. Also my belt was always really tight and I just went down a size and its not even tight on me! Still have a lot of weight to lose but I'm wearing my tightest skinny jeans and my favorite black band t and they look rad now that I've lost weight!
Ill keep you all posted.

Pens And Needles

Okay I'm posting directions for anyone who's interested in trying a Saltwater Flush. I would definitly try this laxatives and purging still leave you feeling bloated and ishy most the time, Salwater Flushes leave you feeling empty refreshed and energetic.

Get a jug with four cups of lukewarm water, and mix two teaspoons of Sea Salt (this is the best choice of salt for the flush) Wait untill the water cools so its easier to drink. You'll find it really hard to drink it but you have a whole half hour to swallow it all so keep at it! After drinking lay on your RIGHT SIDE for a half hour so it can go through. After about an hour you'll have to use the potty frequently for some time. Its only unpleasant for a while then it feels AMAZING!! Make sure though you have no where to go or no company for several hours so it can all come out.

Picking up my friend in the morning, wish me luck on fasting around him! Thankfully I don't think we're eating out, that's when its most obvious.

Ill let you know how its going soon!

Let It Infold You

Making fast progress, my hipbones and ribs are really surfaced now, just skin over them no fat. All I have to do is keep this up and ill be back to ninety in no time! Its gonna be really hard when my friend comes this week though he knows about my ed and cares a lot about me ill do my best to hide it but he knows me really well...
Stay strong!

Lost, So Lost

I'd lose weight so much faster if I cut out the juice, and I'm past getting hunger pangs and cravings so I thought I'd explain why I drink it. The grapfruit juice (90 cals) speeds your metabolism, and the cranberry juice (140 cals) works as an diuretic. Its not good drinking tons of water to lose weight if your just bloated with water, the cran juice stops the water from building up in you body so I'm addicted. Its also good to try to keep your metabolism working to burn calories but that won't happen if your not taking any in. I shouldn't be drinking the mountain dew so much 1 can is 170 cals, but I'm taking in about 400 cals every day all in liquids. Could be worse I guess...

Lunacy Fringe

I've doing rather good, taking off the ishy healthy weight my family and friends made me gain. I haven't eaten in two days, just lots of water, cranberry juice, grapefruit juice, and a mountain dew when I feel like I've earned it. I just did my first saltwater flush last night, against the directions that say to do it in the morning. I couldn't finnish the water though cause I was shaking and starting to through up but thankfully it worked anyways. After a half hour everything came out I was visiting the potty every eight minutes for several hours. It cleaned me out compleetly and got rid of all the junk leaving me thin and pleasantly empty, laxatives don't even begin to compare! Ill never purge again this is way better. The only side effect I didn't like was an unquenchable thirst afterwards but since I only drink liquids its no big deal.

The Fake Sound Of Progress...

I've just recently been found out. I was ninety pounds and Anorexic/Bulimic for over two years. Being quiet and keeping to myself made so nobody noticed as I dropped pound after pound, then I got busted and everyone started constantly asking "Did you eat? What did you eat? How much did you have? Bla bla bla..." I gained weight and earned fake trust, everyone thinks I'm over it but I gained for a reason, now everyones done worrying about me. I stopped eating, and the beauty of it is everybodys so busy worrying about themselves that nobodys noticed. I'm going lower than ever this time. It feels amazingly good so far, my beloved emptiness. I never feel hunger anymore, I'm way past that. I still have some ishy "healthy weight" but its going away quickly.

I have lots of Ana tips and advice so feel free to ask for some.